Puck That!

Brashear has only himself to blame

2010-02-11T14:16:00.004-05:00

There are two people at fault for this entire Donald Brashear situation. One is New York Rangers General Manager Glen Sather, and the other one is Donald Brashear, himself.

Sather is at fault for bringing this situation upon the Rangers in the first place. He overpaid (shocker) for an over-the-hill “enforcer,” who supposedly is a “better skater” than Colton Orr. Rangers fans nailed this signing as a bust right off the bat, even if most of those feelings came from the fact that they were enraged by Brashear’s actions against Blair Betts in last season’s playoffs.

Brashear is to blame for this mess because he did absolutely nothing that would force Head Coach John Tortorella to put him on the roster. It got to the point where Tortorella wouldn’t even put him in the lineup against a rival, where fists fly at every stoppage of play.

With Brashear’s trade request came comments from him, mentioning that Tortorella said he would play him in different situations and that he didn’t get a chance, blah blah blah. His role is to scare opponents from running the top guys and the goaltender. If you are even semi-conscious, you will know that there is no team in the NHL that is afraid to fight any Ranger (see: Carcillo, Dan) or topple over Henrik Lundqvist (see: NHL).

Even offensively, where Brashear is supposed to be a better option than Colton Orr, he didn’t do much. I’m not talking about potting some goals, I’m talking about grinding it out in the corners and driving to the net to dig at a rebound or throw some hits. He did none of that in the 36 games he played this season. Aaron Voros did. And that’s why Voros surpassed him on the Rangers depth chart (I laughed when I wrote “Rangers depth chart” too).

I can’t imagine anyone claiming Brashear off waivers or re-entry waivers. He provides no value to any team. He had nine fights this year, and I can’t say he really won any of them. I don’t blame the Rangers for not signing Orr, because word was he wanted to back to the Toronto area (don’t know how true that is), but signing Brashear was a mistake from the get-go, because it is clear that this guy neither has it anymore, nor seems to care anymore.

NHL (rinks) have no place in Olympics

2010-02-10T15:30:00.006-05:00

Maybe we’re late to the party, and no we’re not talking about our complete lack of blogging. We may be late in regards to the travesty that is the NHL-sized rink at the Olympics.

This came to our attention today while we were going through some NHL clips and read the Bergen Record’s Olympics preview put together by New York Rangers and New Jersey Devils beat writers Andrew Gross and Tom Gulliti, respectively.

Vancouver 2010 will be the first Winter Olympics to use NHL-sized rinks, and we here at Puck That! are not happy. One of the best things about Olympic hockey is, not only all of the world class players from their respective countries playing together on one team, but all the space that they get to perform their world-class talent.

Try this. Close your eyes and envision one of your favorite plays by Sidney Crosby, Alex Ovechkin, Evgeni Malkin, Ilya Kovalchuk, Rick Nash, or whoever gets you more excited than Megan Fox does. You see them splitting the D, or flying down the wing and turning someone inside out? Now, picture what they could do with 13 more feet of width and 10 more feet in length. Ok, now go change your pants.

Heck, I’m sure most people would love to see Olympic-sized rinks in the NHL because it is so much more fun to watch. It’s like the 4-on-4 overtime, which everyone loves. There’s so much more space out there, making almost every overtime session so thrilling. We understand the need for more seats in the arena, thus eliminating any chance at a bigger rink, but that’s what makes us so upset about not having the big tundra in the Olympics.

Every four years we get to experience hockey on an almost pond-like surface. And who doesn’t like pond hockey? If you don’t, pick up a copy of either Home Ice or Open Ice by the late, great Jack Falla. But, this year, that is taken away. It’s a fun change of pace for us hockey fans in America that watch the game played in condensed setting every night.

Don’t get us wrong, we’re not saying that the NHL should be played on an Olympic surface (because we don’t think Rangers fans would like to see Michal Roszival or Wade Redden burned more than usual), but we are slightly saddened that we won’t see the great International competition played like it should be.

Jersey Foul for Puck Daddy

2009-11-27T16:00:00.004-05:00

We love Puck Daddy's jersey fouls entries on Yahoo.com, and we believe we've found a good one that may or may not have been picked up by someone in the past.

In between the afternoon hockey games (which really is the best part of Thanksgiving), I tuned into Ferris Beuller's Day Off for the 1,432nd time and somehow only now noticed the crookedness of the Red Wings logo on Cameron Frye's jersey. That's like turning the American flag upside down. Big no no.

You just don't insult a staple of American sports in such a manner. And yes, for the hockey haters, the Wings are one of the greatest organizations in sports, just ask Dr. Cox.

Now, I Googled pictures of Mr. Hockey and they all have the winged wheel the proper way, but if anyone knows a time when the logo was displayed this way on the jersey, give us a shout. But for now, that is an epic fail, being that it was in such a large scale movie.

The Fantasy Burn

2009-11-24T21:48:00.002-05:00

Think back to the 2006-2007 season. The Buffalo Sabers were a Eastern Conference powerhouse (who then decided to lose EVERYBODY not named Vanek), Sidney Crosby won his first (and only) scoring title, and the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim hoisted the Stanley Cup for the first time in franchise history (thanks to Mr. Niedermayer‘s manly beard).

It also happened to be the very last year Olli Jokinen was relevant in game of fantasy hockey. Since that year, Olli Jokinen has mastered the art of the “Fantasy Burn”. No, that is not an imaginary pain in the nuts from imaginary sex with an imaginary prostitute. The term Fantasy Burn I created to describe a player who 'should' produce for his owner in fantasy hockey, but decides to suck it up instead.

In the 2006-2007 season, believe it or not, Olli Jokinen not only was the owner of the largest head in hockey but also the owner of a top statistical year in hockey. With 39 goals, 52 assists, 91 points and 78 PIM Olli Jokinen was a certified fantasy stud. He did it without the help of teammates as well, a common practice in Florida with the next person in points scoring a pathetic 62 (thanks Nathan Horton…another Fantasy Burn for another time).

So what happened? Olli Jokinen was supposed to be fantasy gold. The previous year had him top out at 88 points, a career high with 91 points in 06-07 and just hitting his prime. Never injured, a 100 point season had to be in the fold, or at least 95. Right?

71.

Fantasy Burn.

The very next season with the Florida Panthers Olli turned in 71 points. Respectable? Yes, but not enough for a player projected to finally join the elite centers in the National Hockey league. We all thought we could put his name with Sakic's and Thornton's. Joe Sakic and Joe Thornton would score 71 points while skating backwards and playing with the special olympic hockey team. One average year out of three isn't a time to panic though.

Have no fear fantasy followers, in 2008 before the draft Olli Jokinen worshippers (they exist) got their wish. The reason Olli Jokinen didn’t reach his potential in Florida was because he had nothing to play for. Ten years without skating on a sheet of playoff hockey ice is a very long time. The solution was a trade…to the Phoenix Coyotes.

Fantasy hockey owners salivated at the thought of Olli Jokinen being surrounded with offensive weapons. Guys like Shane Doan and Ed Jovanovski to help him reach heights everybody knew he could. This was the year not only would Phoenix make the postseason Olli would return to fantasy hockey relevance.

Fantasy Burn.

Whoever bought that load of crap paid dearly that year. Olli Jokinen for the first time since birth suffered an injury and never really ‘clicked’ in the desert. Fans undoubtedly lost faith in Jokinen as he struggled with The Great One as his coach, until he was traded to the Calgary Flames. He finished the year strong, got into the playoffs and scored 5 points in 6 games.

FINALLY.

Finally after three seasons Olli Jokenin found his spot. He found a playoff team in need of a number one center. Indeed the 6’2 Fin had his spot, a spot that just so happened to skate alongside one of the most dynamic scorers in the league. This was the year. If fans were salavating a Doan/Olli line, they were downright creaming themselves with Iginla/Olli together. Olli Jokinen skating with Jerome Iginla after a successful post and preseason together was a fantasy hockey can’t miss. Draft that son of a ...RIGHT NOW!

BURN!…so far.

Just imagine Olli in the locker room in a tight red leather outfit singing, “Oops I did it again, I played with your heart.. Got lost in the game.” Britney Spears couldn’t have summarized it better. From now on when I need fantasy hockey tips, screw The Hockey News…I’m going with Ms. Spears’ lyrics. As I write this impressive blog entry, Olli Jokinen has 3 goals, 15 points in 22 games. Jokinen looked so lost to start the season the Flames tried Craig Conroy as the #1 center. Craig Conroy. You know the guy who clicked amazingly well with Iginla… in 2002. The 29 year old…not the 37 year old.

15 points in 22 games. That pace will get him 55 points, along with a nice burning sensation for every sucker who drafted him. Could he turn it around? Honestly, I’ve thought of every scenario for every line mate for every team this guy has had. Let’s ask the expert. What do you say Britney? “I’m not a girl, not yet a woman.” Fantasy translation? He’s not a bum, not yet a star.

HE’S A FANTASY BURN!!!

-Mike

Goalie Wars!

2009-11-21T11:39:00.004-05:00

Fleury knows where he stands on his team... one of the few!

Remember the good old days? You know, when backup goalies were just veterans who could be counted on to play once every two weeks? Once every two months for a Devils’ backup. The days when you had goaltending that could never be challenged for their #1 spot. Never. The Brodeur’s, Cujo’s, Richter’s, Belfour’s, Roy’s, Hasek’s, VBK’s etc.

Now? Finding a #1 has taken a back seat to “riding the hot hand”. Let’s look at the Eastern Conference and see just how totally screwed up goaltending has become in the NHL.

Theodore/Varlamov- Jose Theodore enjoyed a bounce back year with the Colorado Avalanche and cashed in by signing a lucrative contract with the Capitals. He enjoyed continued success until Varlamov decided to make him look like a overpaid bum and steal his job. The ONLY reason Theodore is getting any starts is because of the paychecks deposited into his bank account every two weeks.

Smith/Niittymaki- Mike Smith was acquired from Dallas to hold down a spot that has been rendered useless since Khabibulin left for Chi town. A concussion later, and Mike Smith is now in danger of losing his job to the master of goaltending controversy Antero Niitymaki. Smith will get every chance to regain his spot but there is only one catch. He has to stop the black thing from going in. Sounds like a scared white woman at a rap concert!

Hedberg/Pavelec- Johan Hedberg reminds me of what backup goalies used to be. Just a solid veteran goalie always ready to step in when needed. Only problem is he’s needed way too often. Pavelec has shown signs off being #1 minus the consistency. That’s kind of important. You think it’s confusing now, wait until career underachiever Kari Lehtonen comes back from injury.

Vokoun/Clemmensen- The Florida Panthers were just asking for trouble by signing Scott Clemmensen. The Koun has shown the ability to handle a #1 workload, unfortunately he’s also shown that he can’t. Vokoun has played well so far, but the team wins with Clemmer in net. Who the hell knows. Besides when Steve Reinprecht is your sniper you really don’t care about who’s between the pipes.

Hurricanes- I’d name the goalies, but I don’t know who has survived as of this morning. Signing Legace was a smart move but the Canes are a hot mess. May as well bring back Irbe and Weekes.

Toskala/Gustavsson- It’s never a good thing when your ‘goaltending battle’ becomes ‘who sucks less’.

Price/Halak- Habs fans are dying to make Price their #1 and so is Canadians management. With way too much hype for a 22 year old it was only natural Carey Price would let a few people down. Seriously guys, he's 22... I'm 23. Leave him alone!!! I sound like Chris Crocker now.. Leave Carey alone!!! For all the let downs, Halak has been there to pick the team up. Like Smith in Tampa, Price will get every opportunity to be the go to goalie. He just has to win games.

Leclaire/Elliot- I do believe Pascal Leclaire is their starting goalie but Brian Elliot is enticing. At 24 the Sens won’t hesitate to play Elliot if Pascal falters. They just better not, Pascal is on my fantasy team.

Thomas/Rask- Tim Thomas is a very good goalie, it just so happens that his backup his becoming one as well. Thomas is the man…for now. CLIFFHANGER!!

Miller/Lalime- Lalime was garbage in his prime, no chance he steals Miller’s job.

Brodeur/Denis- Martin Brodeur could lose every game for the next two months, show up late to practice everyday, and take a dump in Lou Lamoriello’s briefcase… he’s going to start.

Roloson/Biron- There is really no benefit to the Islanders which goalie wins games. Neither is a long term investment and neither will see playing time over a healthy Dipietro. Healthy Dipietro, that’s a oxymoron if I’ve ever heard one. This isn't a goalie war, rather a goalie toss up.

Emery/Boucher- Ray Emery has rejuvenated his career and is without question the teams #1 as I write this. The Flyers hope they have finally found a legitimate starting goaltender, we’ll see if he holds up. A part of me is saddened that Philly fans actually have a goalie to count on after all these years.

Fleury/Johnson- Brent Johnson is a nice back up goalie, but this is Marc Andre Fleury’s team. He has a ring to prove it!

Lundqvist/Valiquette- King Henrik has been the man for a while in New York even if Valiquette has a sweet helmet.

Interesting, I ran out of stuff to write about for the Atlantic division. That could be why it’s considered the best division in hockey. The lack of stupid goaltending battles!!

-Mike

The Milbury Award

2009-11-20T22:08:00.007-05:00

A weekly award for hockey dumbness

AND the winner is!!

NHL Referees

“Intent to blow.” Three words that should come on every woman’s CARFAX sheet (yes, women should come with CARFAX), and three words that should be eliminated from hockey. Why is this, you ask, aside from the obvious?

Exhibit A:

Dallas at Detroit – 11/18/09

The Detroit Red Wings scored a clear goal, with a whistle coming a good two to three seconds after the puck had crossed the line. One – there was no reason for a whistle to blow, two – the puck is clearly across the line, and three, well we’ll let Wings Head Coach Mike Babcock explain three: “'The guy never meant to blow the whistle ... It was a shot. It was in on the shot. It's as dumb as I've ever seen.'

Detroit lost 3-1, but that goal could have changed the dynamic of that game. The NHL came out today, and pretty much through Dennis LaRue under the bus. You know you have issues when the NHL hierarchy, of all people, are calling you out. Mrs. LaRue is, hopefully, in the process
of locking the knife draws at home.

Exhibit B:

Toronto at Carolina – 11/19/09

Toronto scores a goal, yeah I know, crazy right? But referee Ian Walsh waves it off because he blew his whistle and then noticed the puck over the goalline. Replays show the puck in the net and then the whistle being blown, but Walsh “intended” to call the play dead, so no
goal it is.

Awful officiating, but in all fairness to Walsh, he was working a Maple Leafs-Hurricanes game, so it doesn’t really count, right.

-Al